The people we choose to spend our time with, will go a long way to determine what we will turn out to be. If we want to reach a certain level in life; we should be mindful of the company we keep. Some people are timewasters; that is, they spend most of their time talking about things that are not beneficial in anyway. While others will encourage and push us toward excellence.
As we interact with people, we should ask ourselves; where will I be if I continue to keep this person very close to me for five years? After asking this question, we should learn to pause for few seconds and picture ourselves. If the results are positive; this will mean that friend or relationship has a positive impact on us. But after a careful analysis, and we find out that relation will drain our energy and will not make any significant impact on us then, we should learn to discontinue that relationship.
Let us think of that relationship as a pearl. Pearls are beautiful and expensive but its beauty will also be determined by who puts on. If a pearl is given to a princess or a queen; she will wear it with so much pride and dignity. This is because, the princess or the queen has been nurtured to be a lady. So, she will cherish precious things like a pearl. On the other hand, if the same pearl is given to a pig, it will just make it dirty. Over here, the fault is not that of the pearl but the person who possesses it.
Every person can be compared to this pearl and the people we choose to keep company with will determine our outcome either accomplished or destroyed. One of the most important things is the company we choose. We will eventually copy what they say or do. If their actions are negative; we destroy ourselves but if their actions are positive we will be better than who we were before we met them.
We should therefore be mindful of the people we invite into our lives if we value the life we are living. People who want achieve good things and make a difference choose their company wisely.
As we travel, the path behind us will look smaller as we move forward; while the path we approach will look clearer and broad. This is how we should learn to forget the bad choices we have made in the past. Human beings are not perfect no matter how hard we try. We make a lot of mistakes which may cost us while others will not.
When we remember the mistakes we have made; it is normal to feel guilty and wish we could go back and correct our wrongs. These mistakes could be the choices we made consciously, but some may be the things we overlooked. We all go through that time that the biggest mistakes we made play back in our minds repeatedly. Though we will remember the good things we have done; that is our achievements, these are some of the positive things we have done and feel proud of.
On the other hand, when the negative choices we have made in the past play in our minds, we should learn to let go of them. They sometimes ruin our day or week. There are some choices that will affect us till the end of our lives. Instead of regretting and wishing we should not have made those choices; we should learn from what we did wrong and teach others so that they will not make similar mistakes that we made.
As a result of our bad choices, we may lose certain things or some people forever but once we have life, we say there is more to live for. It is good to know what things led to those choices and never repeat them again. If we allow the negative choices we have made in our past to play, they will play the loudest in our minds as we dwell on them. At the end of the day, we may feel powerless making us think life is not worth living.
When we remember these negative choices we made in the past, we should learn to tell ourselves we are not perfect and if we had known that the consequences of our actions would have been negative, we would not have made those choices. Making mistakes is part of life and out of that, we get experience and increase in knowledge so we can guide others. We can also apologise to the people we have hurt or those who have been affected by negative actions and after this, we should leave them in the past where they belong and live our lives.
The life others have lived will not determine how ours will turn out to be. It is true that people do things and fail. The fact that a person did something and could not go through or finish it does not mean the same thing will happen to us if we do a similar thing.
The methods people use will be different from ours. We may have people who will tell us that they tried, or their parents or friends tried and could not do it. What these people will do is put fear in us when they find out that our goals are beyond their imaginations.The fact that a person did something and failed and gave up does not mean the same thing will happen to us. There are some things we are the only people who are meant to start them.
Also, we are not them, that is, their strengths and weaknesses are not the same as ours. We are all different, so the things they cannot do we can. When we allow people to limit us, it reduces our confidence and belief we have in ourselves. Negative and visionless people will tend to put fear in us by what they see and how they live their lives.
All that we can do is to stay away from them. A lot of people like to sit on the bench and not take any risk. If all the major breakthroughs and inventions had been ignored because of fear; where would we be? Starting something no one or a few people have done is risky and scary. All sorts of things rush into our heads and the negative monster of possible failure will stick its head out.
Nonetheless, we feel powerful and reenergised when the thought of our idea runs in our head, knowing it’ll bring a bright light into our world. That thought and feeling should take away any fear from us. We should learn to spend less time with people who tell us our goals are impossible. As we focus on what we want to accomplish, better people will come our way. These people will push us toward our goals. They will show us ways to accomplish them; because they know how it feels to have a goal and have the desire to pursue it no matter what. They will be our source of inspiration where we can draw our strength from when we feel weak.
People we meet in life can be compared to the food we take in. Some will have to stay temporarily and not even get to become nutrients, others stay in our blood stream to provide us nutrition. We meet all kinds of people in life; some may leave us when they have finished with the roles they perform in our lives. Others will stay with us till the end. The people who stay and leave are all important. As already hinted, when we take in food or water, some enter our blood stream and others leave the body through our digestive system.
The food that is egested is important but not so important to stay in the body after digestion process is complete. They have to come out; when these substances stay in the body, they become poisonous. That is how people who enter would have to leave when they have finished with the task or the role they played in our lives. When they stay longer, they will deprive us or hinder our progress. The others who happen to stay with us temporarily come to teach us lessons. These lessons are there to shape and strengthen us but these lessons should be learnt in a very short time. These people come into our lives when the lessons are meant to be taught and leave as soon as they finish their work.
The food products that enter our blood stream stay and form blood which serve as energy our bodies need to survive. These are the permanent people who will stay with us like digested food that enters the blood stream and works on our bones and other parts of the body. These people reduce in number as we grow. They stay with us and may not be seen as making much contributions in our lives, but they stay no matter what the situation is.
We should learn to identify these people; those who are staying and people who will leave. They are all needed for the journey we are taking. Some will have to leave eventually but all these people are important in development and growth. We all need each other to survive. Some will be with us for a short time but they are needed others that is a few will stay with us for life. At the end of the day, it is the shaped life and how it turns out to be that is important. These lessons from temporary people are like short courses offered in schools. They are brief but they stay with us throughout our lives. At the end of our lives, a few friends and family members will stay and be faithful till the end.
As humans, our first reaction toward a negative comment or criticism about us is defence. This is the easiest; that is brushing off our mistakes or weak points. I won’t say it is totally bad because, dwelling on our weaknesses diminishes our confidence and makes us feel not enough and incapable even when we are capable. It is normal to get defensive upon hearing a bad or negative comment about ourselves however, pondering on these negative comments and criticisms and wondering how they can benefit us rather than brushing them off all the time sometimes determines how mature a person can be.
The body as it stands loves to be satisfied all the time no matter what. Just like the id and the ego, the body is primitive in nature; picking up fights, arguing, yelling at someone who has wronged you, eating food that tastes good in the mouth but harmful to the body all feel good at the moment they are being done when we are satisfying the needs of the body.
To be mature people, we have to learn how to tone down all these unnecessary demands of the body which will do nothing but ruin and destroy our integrity and respect we have spent years building for ourselves. The fact that a person wrongs or offends us shouldn’t make us destroy all the reputation and respect we have built for ourselves over the years by acting in a way that the body dictates to us to act since it feels right to burst out in rage or fury. A person can offend us but we should not let that same person take away our good emotions and respect as well. No matter what a person does; it will never be okay to trade our emotions when a person criticism.
A person can be good to us all their lives but might make a mistake or offend us and this will make us judge and treat this person who has been good to us all our lives as if he/she is our enemy. This is just like a very small stain in a white shirt; we notice it immediately and concentrate on that rather than all the other parts of the shirt which is white. This is the same way we treat criticisms and negative comments about ourselves.
Things are not bad in themselves till we define them as bad our negative so no comment about us is meant to destroy us even though that could be the intention of the critic; we should look at it from the point of view that, that comment is meant to make us better, an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves. Though not every comment we hear about ourselves is true, some of them are; and we have to ponder on them and find out how that comment can improve our lives.
Most of the time, there is a lesson we have to learn out of these comments or there should be some changes we have to make in our lives and these criticisms are there to guide us. When we avoid these criticisms they will appear in different forms and cause us to take a good look at our lives and make the necessary changes. We should be cautious of the people we consider their criticism; some people will complain about every little thing we do and will never appreciate our efforts.
Most comments from these people should be ignored. We do not have to change our entire lives to either please them or stop them from talking about us. Instead, when a person corrects us or makes a comment about our actions and we know in our hearts that it is true, we should take it and make the best out of that comment or criticism.
People are surprised when they hear that a person they think they know very well has
committed a crime. There is something called “persona” that is a mask every human
being puts on. This mask is put on especially when people are watching; we are the
kindest, most faithful and always at our best. We do things to please people but deep
within us we know we are opposite what we portray to be.
This makes people put their trust in us only for them to be disappointed. What we do not realise is that; whatever has been covered by the mask will be revealed no matter what. There is no point in living a double life; we have to be at our best even when people are not watching. If we decide to live lives that are going to please people we realise we are the only people who are unhappy because; we pretend to be something or people we are not, and will never be, and can never be. We all have to live lives of excellence. It is not an option but a requirement.
We should be people who our colleagues at work or in school look up to and
emulate. When a new student or a new person is employed in the company or
institution we work in, we should be selected as their mentors. Not because we have
pretended to be but deep within ourselves, we know we are truly what we exhibit in
public for everyone to see and we do that while we are alone as well. I personally
believe we should all strive for excellence and not perfection. Excellence is when you do
the right thing when no one is watching and you know very well that is the right thing to
People of excellence have positive attitudes. They do think and think about things that
are good and helpful to humanity, and they are selfless too. They live a stress-free life
knowing they do not have to be someone they can never be in the presence of their
family, colleagues at school, home or workplaces in order to be accepted by anyone. We
should not pretend to like our bosses and be so respectful and kind to them while all the
employees and the boss himself or herself is around; and turn round to gossip and insult
the boss right after he or she or our colleagues leave our presence.
We find out that we receive the same treatment we give out to people. When we
pretend, we meet people who also pretend and fake their love for us. That is how this
world is. Our true attitudes are reflected in other people’s behaviour towards us. Life is
short to live a pretentious life. This means we should not only dress up and keep our
houses and environs in place because we will be expecting visitors; rather we should do
it because, we know the right thing and the right thing should be done always. We
should let everything we do count because we do not know where our attitudes will
lead us to.