Suddenly I lost control of myself and was being manhandled by a strong force that took me high up regardless of my body position and crushed me down with great force on the surface. I finally lost my reasoning. Everything became dark and all I could see was nothing. I tried getting on my feet, only to realise there was nothing beneath, then the thoughts came running, where am I?
My hands touched nothing and my feet felt loose, my eyes could not see and my nose could not breathe.
At this point my mind was blank and helpless, rendering my entire being clueless. Then slowly, I began to lose hold of the grasp of air in my lungs and as well the firm grab of my nose and mouth. Water started gushing in slowly until I could hold no more. It gradually filled my throat and nostrils, and I was struggling vigorously to catch some breath or get above the surface.
During the struggle all I could see were images of those I hate and think hate me, ones that always brought me pain and suffering. Ones that never support even when I grief for help, and ones all my life have brought pain and hatred, the bad times and the terrible moments. As I continued struggling my limbs got fatigued and I struggled less with my lungs being filled halfway with water, I realized my strength was gone and I could fight no more.
I did not give up but my strength was gone…
Immediately I was sober and sodden in regret and sorrow. I could not hold on any longer. My senses were all dead and I could do nothing for myself. I was so exhausted and couldn’t even afford to blink if I had the chance. Then I decided to give up. But just before I was gone, in a split second, all the memories of great moments I had with loved ones and friends came embracing before I departed.
I saw the face of my mum and dad when I was a kid, I recalled wonderful moments I never would have if I was normal. I saw the faces of each person I love, my family laughing and sharing experiences, my friends misbehaving and quarreling, classmates teasing and sharing ideas; the children on the field, then joy in church. All these beautiful things were bidding farewell right in my face and I was ready to go a happy man, everything went dark and I knew it was time, suddenly I saw her face, clearer than all the other memories and faces I had seen…she was the love of my life. She said nothing and did nothing but just kept smiling.
I really missed her.
But suddenly she had a sad look and I knew it was because I was leaving.
I wanted to right my wrongs,
I wanted to apologise,
I wanted to say goodbye,
Just what I needed, an Iorta of Hope,
The beneath my feet never felt and the pillar that was missing in the vacuum my swinging arms didn’t grab…
I breathed heavily with my last strength and I pushed hard only to feel a warm arm holding me and dragging me towards a very bright light, the light was brighter than day and warmer. All the water in my lungs came running out and my chest was loose,
My first breath was cooler
My limbs felt free and I was alive
I opened my eyes and I saw the skies. It was more beautiful than I ever saw it…
I saw the people around me and they were much more fascinating than I thought they were…
I felt myself again and I appreciated it…
I was a dead man and I’m now alive!
The feeling of a just delivered child we never remember or know.
I was saved by the beautiful people and times I had,
I was saved by love.
Life is beautiful, it’s where you belong!
Words by Nana Kofi Tego