Promise Again!

He stood quietly, staring right at me with a tear-filled eye and shaking lips. I knew he wanted to say something but just couldn’t figure out what. Now thoughts start running through my mind…

The people we trust always betray us

The people we love always deceive us

The people we stand for, always let us down

But should that be the way?

You told me I was the only one when I was actually not yet numbered…

You said yes when the obvious was no. You promised hope that I never saw in daylight. You promised joy that I never saw in life…above all, you promised love that I never dreamt of.

Why promise me all these and turn your back at me?

My heart is broken but not dead

My feelings are hurt but not gone

My mind is blank but waiting for you

I’m hurt but I still love you

Why does something so wrong seem so right?

 

Sometimes all we need is just a word of assurance. I know all your wrongs and I still loved you. I knew how crazy you can be and I still loved you. I try forgetting about you and I realize I’m instead forgetting about myself and happiness.

You’ve wronged me but I still love you so say something.

I’m not calling or texting but I spend almost every single second waiting for yours…

I may be smiling and laughing out with my friends outside but that is just how best I can escape your vacuum alone. Please say something, just say it. I’m frowning now with a straight face but I’m just waiting to smile. Please say something.

“C’mon, say it” were the thoughts in my mind.”

But before I could raise another thought he kissed me so hard and intense that I couldn’t even catch a breath. He drew back a little and still with shaking lips he said “I love you, I promise this will never happen again.” Then my heart skipped a beat, for a reason I’m yet to decipher.

He just promised again

Didn’t he do the first time?

But why do I seem to want it when I knew he lied the first time?

I know it’s a lie but I need it. Then I realized..

What we don’t want is actually what we need!

Go ahead and promise again

Give yourself a chance

Up-Close with bigBen Ahead of “Bullion (Remix)” Release Featuring Teephlow & Edem

bigBen. You’ve probably heard the name somewhere… On social media or a blog. You’ve probably heard his music. bigBen is a soulful singer, rapper and songwriter, whose art would find a place in your heart.
Steeze Hub writer Nana Kofi Tego had an exclusive interview with this fast rising Nigerian born music star. In view of the artiste’s new single release on Friday, 20th April 2018, this interview is bringing to light some things we have to know about this profile who already has some nice tunes with high profiled artistes in Ghana.

A brief introduction was made by the young star and he had lots of cool personal things to say about himself.
“I was born in Jos City Nigeria but I am an Igbo by tribe, to a family of 7 which includes my parents and siblings. I’m the third child and also the third boy. I attended my high school at Baptist High School in Jos City, came to Ghana to study biomedical engineering at All Nations University, Koforidua.”

With a wonderful personal profile, bigBen went further to discuss his music career and how it all began. It must be said that he’s had a wonderful and quick paced career and some level of interesting versatility.
“As far as I can remember, music has always been a part of me, but I took it serious and professional about two years ago when I met my management (Harmony Records). I am actually not specifically a hip-hop artist. I’m rather more of an Afro soul art than hip-hop but I am very versatile artist so I like to experiment with various genres.”

When asked of his mentors or idols he left it short by stating that his mum and dad are the people he looks up to.
Doing music in Africa or specifically Ghana is not all rosy, and for some underground acts, if not, most artistes it has proven to be a herculean task to break through to limelight. Bigben our guest is no different as he shares his experience on the road so far with us.

“Definitely I have faced a lot of challenges from studio equipment to finding the right way to push my music but yeah whenever I look at how determined my parents are, it keeps me going and believing that I will make it. I get lots of supports from friends and family which also keeps me on the right path psychologically. I want to use this opportunity to thank everyone that has supported my dream to this point.”

Now bigBen details his music career so far and its evident he’s on an ascending path to greatness with his work and effort. Already with some good number of singles under his belt and some fantastic collaborations.

“I have released about six singles and have been featured on one by M.anifest. But I have almost a thousand unreleased songs LOL. Worked with also Bisa Kdei, Sista Afia, Ko-Jo Cue, Teephlow, Edem, and currently in works with Stonebwoy. I look forward to working with Sarkodie, Kwesi Arthur, Adina and many others. I am really hoping I get my breakthrough this year and start disturbing the world.”

Before we moved to his upcoming release of “Bullion” remix featuring Teephlow and Edem, he was asked why he decided to choose these arts on his arguably best single so far.
“Well, when I worked on the songs, I just knew they were going to give it the finishing touch because they are amazing rappers and I’m so humbled and glad they were kind to bless me with their verses, I’m super grateful.

Finally, our interview guest bigBen will release the remix of his latest single “Bullion” on Friday and he features VGMA 2018 Record of the year winner Teephlow and multiple award winning artiste Edem and was produced by Kwaku Drizzy.
“Bullion came as an inspiration after listening to Kwesi Arthur’s ‘Grind Day’, I was like mayne I wanna do a track like this, so I hit up Lesane who produced the beat and the rest is history!”
Make it a point to download Bullion remix ft. Teephlow & Edem produced by Kwaku Drizzy on steezehub.com.

Follow bigBen on Twitter @iam_bigBen, Facebook @bigBen.worldwide, and instagram @iam_bigBen.

Bloody Mary

My eyes were barely closed and I could feel the pain in my abdomen, a very sharp one of course. My cover cloth took most of my strength, as I tightly held on to it. Being put in a freezer was nothing compared to the cold I felt, and I could not think for myself again. After turning unto different sides of my body countless times, I was finally tired. I couldn’t move anymore.

My legs felt weak and my arms could barely do anything than grip firmly to my bed and cloth. I was in severe pain, the kind of pain that dragged life out of you. I needed something however I couldn’t figure out what. I could do nothing.

Suddenly my thoughts went dark and all I could think of were regrets.

What if I never met Jane?

What would it have cost to let the championship go?

I was an athlete in my final year in school with just one term to go, when my friend Jane introduced me to this man. I had won my  national race after beating all contenders from the various regions and I was due to travel for the national championship in Europe. So why now?

What did I do wrong?

What did I do to deserve this?

It was until then I realised my eyes were short of tears as I had been crying since morning and I was very thirsty. I stretched to reach for the sachet of water on the table by my bed but I couldn’t reach it.  I was so weak. I had to use my last strength to drive myself to take the water and quench my dire thirst.

Before I could reach the sachet, my thighs felt wet and my bed was soaked, I raised the cloth to see why, and all I could see was blood! So much blood!!. Fear struck me and I started shaking!

The drug Jane gave me didn’t go well. I perceived immediately. Oh God!..what had I done?

The bed was so soaked, it stained the floor. My hands and body were so stiff that it felt as if I was frozen. I should have told him I was pregnant. I should have not listened to Jane.

I should have put my four-month old baby first before my championship.

Now I can’t go back, I’m stuck in this gruesome mire of life and there’s no escape. What lies ahead is one I won’t think of. I’m stuck with regrets. I shed tears and wept. All of a sudden, I missed life with everyone and every single moment. Thinking about the good times and the bad ones, giving myself another chance over and over again. Living myself through my regrets over and over again.

The next thought was to kill myself by finishing the concoction of grounded glass and herbs which I had tried using to terminate my pregnancy. How could I have thought of this?

Is Jane that wicked? Or she was just being a good friend?

She gave me an empty glass bottle to grind into tiny pieces and mix with some weird herbs she had picked from a bush nearby, and drink. Desperate times call for much reasoning. If you’re in a confusing state or situation, don’t rush on decisions and be very careful of the only option you’ve got.

My strength was gone and my life was being squeezed out of me slowly by the pain. I was almost gone. I am dying. I started imagining what my child could have become, maybe something far greater than my championship or 5th gold honors… what a world we live in!

“Mary!!”..”Mary!!”…that was my mother calling, she had just come back from church and didn’t know what I had done. “Get up Mary!, you’ve been sleeping all day”, she said. I couldn’t respond. She dragged the cloth off me and was astounded by the blood soaked sheets that spilled all over the floor. “Jesus!” she screamed.

When you want to take a decision in life, think through it first. Sometimes in life, everything seems down and confused. You can’t make head from tail and all your thoughts become blurred. You have no idea whatsoever of what to do. Just kneel and pray, ask for guidance, talk to someone about it and don’t fear your failure, for your biggest failure is fear.

The tiny million pieces of glass were cutting my womb and stomach slowly and painfully that I could feel every single cut in my abdomen. Thick red blood with some whitish discharge was oozing from my genitalia and was dripping off my thighs to the hospital floor, as I sat on the wheel chair. I could hear every drop hit against the floor tiles like a not properly closed kitchen tap with water dripping. My legs were trembling and numb. I was so scared and it got worst after taking my hands off between my thighs and beheld my blood-stained palms. It was all over my hands. I was lost in a world of regret. I could hear nothing or see nothing.

Am I dead?

God has a plan for each and every one of us. You might sin and get away with it but don’t think God is dead, he just has better plans for you and he must see you through. He gives as a chance that others would wish for, to fulfil his purpose for us.

If not for God, I would have been dead!

I ASKED MYSELF, WHO’S FAULT IS IT?

I recovered after months of hospitalization and I appreciate life better now. I lost my baby and womb, but I still have life.

We only have one life so, live it right!

Deadman, Alive!

Suddenly I lost control of myself and was being manhandled by a strong force that took me high up regardless of my body position and crushed me down with great force on the surface. I finally lost my reasoning. Everything became dark and all I could see was nothing. I tried getting on my feet, only to realise there was nothing beneath, then the thoughts came running, where am I?

My hands touched nothing and my feet felt loose, my eyes could not see and my nose could not breathe.

At this point my mind was blank and helpless, rendering my entire being clueless. Then slowly, I began to lose hold of the grasp of air in my lungs and as well the firm grab of my nose and mouth. Water started gushing in slowly until I could hold no more. It gradually filled my throat and nostrils, and I was struggling vigorously to catch some breath or get above the surface.

During the struggle all I could see were images of those I hate and think hate me, ones that always brought me pain and suffering. Ones that never support even when I grief for help, and ones all my life have brought pain and hatred, the bad times and the terrible moments. As I continued struggling my limbs got fatigued and I struggled less with my lungs being filled halfway with water, I realized my strength was gone and I could fight no more.

I did not give up but my strength was gone…

Immediately I was sober and sodden in regret and sorrow. I could not hold on any longer. My senses were all dead and I could do nothing for myself. I was so exhausted and couldn’t even afford to blink if I had the chance. Then I decided to give up. But just before I was gone, in a split second, all the memories of great moments I had with loved ones and friends came embracing before I departed.

I saw the face of my mum and dad when I was a kid, I recalled wonderful moments I never would have if I was normal. I saw the faces of each person I love, my family laughing and sharing experiences, my friends misbehaving and quarreling, classmates teasing and sharing ideas; the children on the field, then joy in church. All these beautiful things were bidding farewell right in my face and I was ready to go a happy man, everything went dark and I knew it was time, suddenly I saw her face, clearer than all the other memories and faces I had seen…she was the love of my life. She said nothing and did nothing but just kept smiling.

I really missed her.

But suddenly she had a sad look and I knew it was because I was leaving.

I wanted to right my wrongs,

I wanted to apologise,

I wanted to say goodbye,

Just what I needed, an Iorta of Hope,

The beneath my feet never felt and the pillar that was missing in the vacuum my swinging arms didn’t grab…

I breathed heavily with my last strength and I pushed hard only to feel a warm arm holding me and dragging me towards a very bright light, the light was brighter than day and warmer. All the water in my lungs came running out and my chest was loose,

My first breath was cooler

My limbs felt free and I was alive

I opened my eyes and I saw the skies. It was more beautiful than I ever saw it…

I saw the people around me and they were much more fascinating than I thought they were…

I felt myself again and I appreciated it…

I was a dead man and I’m now alive!

The feeling of a just delivered child we never remember or know.

I was saved by the beautiful people and times I had,

I was saved by love.

 

Life is beautiful, it’s where you belong!

Words by Nana Kofi Tego